Idiots
by Nezuko
Summary: Ficlet. Genma and Raidou return home after hard days at work. Who is the bigger idiot? Rated for language.


**Idiots**

_by Nezuko, Prince of Rats_

_This is a work of derivative fiction based on "Naruto" by Kishimoto Masashi. Most of the characters and the world in which they live are the property of Kishimoto-sensei._

Genma stumbled and fell heavily against the front door, before sliding down it to his knees, face pressed against the cool wood. It wasn't the first time he'd come home like this: dirty, tired, hurt, and with no real idea how he'd gotten there. For the last several kilometers, his mind had been blank, save for a mantra-like chant: "got to get home. said I'd come home. got to get home. said I'd..." One word for every footfall. Even now, stopped against the entry to his destination, the words ran through his mind.

Inside, the crash of Genma's solid body against the door echoed through the dark house. Another dazed, injured shinobi jerked into alertness, lurching painfully to his feet, kunai in hand. Raidou edged towards the door, limping as silently as possible. They couldn't have followed him into Konoha, could they? There was no way the ANBU would let them past the gates. But still...

Raidou yanked the door open and prepared to attack, but quickly changed his tactic, stashing the knife back in his holster and dropping to his own knees to catch the falling body coming through the door.

Their torsos collided, and both jounin groaned. 

"Genma?"

"Said. I'd. Come. Home." Genma tried to smile, but through his split and puffy lip it came out a crooked leer.

"Shit. You idiot. You're hurt."

"Yeah," Genma agreed blandly, "So are you. Idiot."

They remained in the open doorway, on their knees, leaning against one another, holding each other up. 

"Let's go in. I feel like hell," said Genma.

"Yeah let's," Raidou agreed.

Neither man made a move to rise.

Genma raised one hand to trace a finger along an ugly gash across Raidou's scarred cheek. 

"That's gonna leave a mark."

"Like you'll be able to tell." Raidou snorted, then made a sad-sounding painful noise, wincing.

"Idiot," Genma muttered. 

"Yeah, so you said. You're one to talk."

They sat in silence for several minutes, leaning against each other and the doorframe. Light from a failing streetlamp flickered on and off nearby, but the porch light cast a warm yellow glow over the shinobi in the entryway.

"When'd you get home?" Genma asked.

Raidou looked at his watch. "About twenty minutes ago."

"Aaa. Is there anything to eat?"

"No," Raidou answered, "We'll have to go out." 

"Aaa."

Another long silence.

"Genma?"

"Yeah?"

"Your shoulder's bleeding."

"Yeah. Hurts, too."

"We should bandage..."

Genma interrupted his companion, "Raidou?"

"Yeah?"

"_Your_ hip is bleeding, and making a worse mess than my shoulder."

"Oh, ah, yeah." Raidou looked sheepish.

"If you've been home for twenty minutes, why haven't you done anything about it?"

"Uh, I think I uh..." Raidou closed his eyes.

"You passed out the minute you got in the house." Genma finished for him.

"Ano..."

"Idiot. You wanna bleed to death?"

"You're one to talk."

"You said that already. And mine's not that bad," said Genma.

"OK, then _you_ get up and do something about it." 

"Yeah, OK, in a minute."

Genma closed his eyes. He was so tired. And it was such a comfort to rest against the warm body of his lover after so many days in the field. He felt like hell. His shoulder hurt and he was probably bleeding too much. No, make that definitely - his vision was getting pretty blurry and gravity was pulling harder and harder. But that idiot Raidou was probably gonna die if he didn't do something. In just a second, he told himself, he'd get up and take care of it. After he rested just a second. 

Raidou closed his eyes. He was so tired. And it was such a comfort to rest against the warm body of his lover after so many days in the field. He felt like hell. His hip hurt and he knew he had already bled too much - his vision was hazy and gravity was overwhelming. But that idiot Genma was probably gonna die if he didn't do something. In just a second, he told himself, he'd get up and take care of it. After he rested just a second.

ooo

"You fucking goddamned idiots!" Tsunade yelled at the pair of injured jounin in the twin hospital beds. "You are so incredibly lucky that someone happened to find you. At least you had the good sense to pass out in your goddamned doorway!"

She rampaged and lectured and screeched her tirade until she was satisfied her message had gotten through. With the parting shot, "You are both confined to bed for the next thirty-six hours, and _don't_ make me have to restrain you!" she turned on her pretty heels and left the room.

Genma and Raidou raised slightly embarrassed, grinning faces to each other.

"Idiot." They said in unison. 

ooo ooo ooo

Author's Note:

Just a strange little slice of life ficlet that popped into my head when I woke up this morning.

Reviews deeply appreciated.


End file.
